It’s almost 18 months after our wedding and I’ve never really talked about for various reasons. I implied that I may open up on many occasion but it never really felt right.
I’ve detailed before a few reasons why I’ve not liked to talk about it. From body issues, venue issues and general insecurities. I want to say it is okay not to love your wedding. I want to tell you it doesn’t have to be the best day of your life because my wedding day certainly wasn’t. There have been other far more important days for me. I know you are now expecting a but..it’s just not coming. I stand by all of these statements. I want your wedding day to be in the top 10 of your best days but not the pinnacle. There is so much more for you to celebrate and embrace after you say I do. Whether you both live to 100 or like my Mamgu, live without your one true love for longer than she did with him. There is more.
However, I’ve got my new glasses, new fringe and myspace pose (thank you Bean for saying that about this picture) and so perhaps it’s time I changed my view of myself. Time to take of the cruel glasses of self-hate, my grey tinted spectacles if you will? (That doesn’t mean I will lose my love of cliche!) I’m not saying I shall procure rose-tinted contacts but how about just looking at my wedding with neutral eyes?
So deep breath. From next Wednesday I will be talking about my wedding. Hopefully with a little input from Bean. I’m going to be deliciously self indulgent and finally lay the ghost of my wedding to rest. It is time to move on and embrace my future. I want to move onto more creative wedding fun and share with you the hundreds of ideas I never really spoke about because I didn’t want to spoil my wedding! We all live and learn. Here’s to the learning.
Please will you join me? I know I’ve spent many an hour pouring over your weddings and hope I can offer something a little different but still emotionally satisfying.
The photo some people love but I really can’t. Perhaps after all of this I will.
YESSSSSSSS!
That is all.
*sits by laptop refreshing page until next Wednesday*
He he he. Oh the pressure!
Stalker geek.
My favourite one!
When I look at that photo, all I see are two people, totally devoted to each other and totally in love. I can’t wait to hear about your wedding and I hope you can come away from this knowing that despite the issues, it was a beautiful and that you are beautiful!
Maybe I’ll see it soon.
SIGH I love that photo. And I love your wedding, I think I saw it first on eastsidebride and thought you guys were a photoshoot – that’s how cute you are
You are too nice! A photoshoot! Pah!
I had a wonderful Skype conversation with one of my best friends last night about looking like yourself at your wedding. We talked about how in the months before a wedding the last thing we would want to do is change our appearance drastically (she’s not engaged yet but I believe she will in the semi near future). I want to chop off my hair for a bit of an experiment but I believe it will be just that, an experiment, and that I’m someone who has long hair…so I want that long hair for my wedding not “hip” short hair. (We had a mutual college friend with curly hair that wore it straightened for that one day only. I hope she enjoyed it but I just found it odd.)
The idea of “looking like yourself” extends to everything, body image, makeup, jewelry, etc. Underlying all this is my own fear that my wedding in September won’t be “enough” and that one or both of us won’t feel like ourselves but with the special wedding sparkle I keep hearing about…
I really hope you have come to peace about your wedding Anna and I can’t wait to read your take on it.
Thank you, although I fear the problem was I did look like myself!
My reply belongs in the post from 4/19…so look for it there.
You both look drop dead gorgeous and above all Bean is totally obsessed with you in every shot, beaming from ear to ear. I also have some hang ups from my Wedding day but we vowed to do it again every 5 years (well it was meant to be 3 years but that came round too quickly) – so I’m doing all the things I didn’t do/ have first time round. xoxo
So tempting isn’t it!
Yess!! I can’t wait to hear more about it lovely Anna.
And I am one of those people that loves that photograph, it’s adorable!
Oh you’re one of those people!
Anna, I can’t wait to hear what you have to say in your always honest and open way. For the record, every single photo I’ve seen of your wedding has been amazing, but it’s not about me, and I hope writing and sharing about your day is therapeutic and helps you love your day a little bit more xo
Hopefully very helpful?!
Looking forward to it Anna. I mean it when I say that I often look back at the posts about your wedding as it’s a big inspiration for our wedding.
Oh thank you – I hope they are vaguely helpful!
Yay! I can’t wait!
Whoop!
I am definately looking forward to reading your honest feelings about your wedding. I think that photo is gorgeous, so genuine and pure, I hope I get just one image like that at my wedding.
x
You will. I haven’t quite got to which one ours is yet but we will.
Wow, I’m really intrigued! Not yet married (a year to go), I’ve never thought I might look back and regret things. I’m worried about family feuds but not necessarily any decisions I’ll make between now and then… Looking forward to the series Anna! (And that photo really is beautiful) xx
I’m not trying to be negative. I want to be honest. It’s hard but for me I think it’s necessary.
That photograph shows two people who are clearly a team and so so in love. Its beautiful.
Thank you. We are (in love, not the beautiful bit!)
Woo hoo! Can’t wait to hear all about your wintery wedding. It will give others like me some faith that even if things don’t go right/isn’t the best day ever, you’re still happy with Bean 18 months later… :) Until Wednesday…
Yes!
Here’s to the living. I’ll be reading, so check your spelling. (Joke.)
I’m more worried about the grammar and all the words.
[...] win win « my (our?) wedding 19 April [...]
The thing that I see most clearly in that photo, yesterday when I first saw it and coming back to it today, is how very much in love and happy with each other you both look. It jumps out of the image at you. That is just so wonderful. Anything, everything else is secondary. There is so much beauty in your love. And, for the record, you both look lovely.
As someone who destests photos of myself I can completely understand that you have personal reasons for not loving that photo. How you feel is how you feel, it’s neither right nor wrong, it’s merely you. But I hope you can come to celebrate that image for the love it represents and let any worries about it go and I look forward to reading about how you try to get there.
Yes it is me. One day I will get there. One day.
I’m totally with you Anna – my wedding was lovely, and to be honest, there’s not too much I would change about it, but my husband and I both agree that it probably wasn’t “the best day of our lives.” We both had a wonderful day, and there were definitely parts may go down as some of the best “moments” of my life (walking down the aisle towards my husband in fading December sunlight being one), but I think there is an awful lot of pressure on brides for it to be perfect – not just the perfect flowers, the perfect dress etc., but also, importantly, the perfect emotional reaction: you should be ecstaticly, over the moon, beyond all reason, joyously and exhilaratingly happy. All day.
This doesn’t happen for everyone. I would actually go so far as to say it probably doesn’t happen for a lot of people – as we can’t maintain that single emotion for an entire day – our day will likely be a huge range of emotions (and even that in itself can be stressful!). For me, there were a few quiet tears with my husband the night before, really from exhaustion, stress, and anxiety as I had been trying to do everything, for everyone. There was a quiet calm in the early morning, annoyance at the hair dressers as they were really quite difficult, excitement and anxiety getting ready with my bridesmaids, real pure happiness walking down the aisle (ok mixed with a little anxiety over whether the nerves would make me throw up all over everyone and my beautiful dress – a longstanding fear), and then really a mixture of fun with little bits of stress (did the best man really just say that?) for the rest of the day.
Sorry this is such a long comment, but it’s something I feel quite strongly about, and something that I think brides should be more aware of – that it’s OK not to experience 100% pure joy on your wedding day, and that really, if that was the best day of your life, wouldn’t it all just be downhill from there on?
Vicky I feel the same and I’m not yet married!
Really refreshing post Anna. Not sure If I’m the only one but have had to stop myself rolling my eyes so many times in bridal shops when the sales assistant would go on about my wedding being the best day of my life. Maybe I’m just cynical but I really don’t see how it can be the one and only best day. I agree with you Anna that we can have more than one “best day”, I know the birth of my daughter is part of that collection I am starting to make. :) x
Thank you Vicky. Yes!
And yes Scarlet!
Whoop!
P.S. I do really love that photo.
Absolutely GORGEOUS!! End Of!
Te hee!
That photo is adorable! For me the best photos are ones that catch a moment and capture emotion. The love between you is glowing!
We do love each other a lot!