The joy of elopement?
Is this St Pancras? I hope they are real people. Yay joy! Image*
Agyness Deyn and Giovanni Ribisi (Phoebe’s brother in Friends!) “shocked” the world by marrying after only 3 months together. (I’m not really sure “shocked the world” is true. Do we really care if people we don’t know get married or not but it’s helpful for this post!)
3 months, 120 days, 2200 hours etc. It just doesn’t seem that long. Can you know, you know that at 3 months this is one you want to stay with of the rest of your life? Something I’ve been musings about for a while now is, do some people, particularly “celebrities” who live in a world of excess, also live in a time accelerated world? That is for the them 10 years is 50 years. So it is actually amazing that they stay with someone for 3 years leave alone 30?
3 months into my relationship with Bean I probably said I loved him. (Whatever love is**) We were a couple, we lived in halls together, I saw him every day. This strong arm approach to dating really worked with us. It wasn’t that we just wanted to kiss and whatnot, I really enjoyed his company. We laughed at the same things, we would side-eye at the same moment, we were meant to be toegther. So why didn’t we just get married and let the rest be history? Admittedly I was 18 and did not have weddings on the brain but if we had met last week at the tender age of 30 would this have made any difference?
Do you just know? Does eloping solve a hundred and one problems? My parents eloped and are still together almost 35 years later. I wont lie, the idea of eloping did feel delicious in the run up to the wedding. So tempting. The kerfuffle and drama is draining. It does just seem ridiculous spending all that time placating others when they were fine before you mentioned you were engaged. Perhaps you are lucky, perhaps there is no drama, but if not I do understand. How do sentient, intelligent adults become so incredibly useless in pack form?
Does it matter if it is a spur of the moment decision or a carefully planned “plot” for wedding freedom? Does it make it more special to have 2 of your nearest and dearest next to you as you say those words. Are they more powerful with fewer ears to land upon? Does the majesty of the moment feel just as overwhelming? Looking back to our ceremony, all I remember is Bean and the registrar. There could have been no-one else or a thousand people watching. All I saw was Bean, all the issues melted away and I was standing next to the man I wanted to stand next to forever. I didn’t feel like anyone was there. It was almost nirvana. Bean and me, me and Bean. Thinking about that moment confuses me. Did I need all the hoopla? Why did we not glide up the stairs of our local registry office years ago and be married? Was it society telling me I needed a showy wedding, is it the blogs? Marriage will just be about the two of us, did we really need such a party to celebrate that?
However, is a wedding just about you? I really don’t think so. It’s a public declaration of love. Indeed it is required by law to be public (or so I thought). Or perhaps we are too hung up on the fact that it is about making everyone happy? We know that it is almost impossible to please everyone so why do we try and do it one on of the most important days of our life? Why do we put so much pressure upon ourselves?
Is it because we love our family? I imagine so, yet why do they think they are more important than our sense of self? I know that most of us care deeply for our family but when does the point come where we have to care about ourselves more. Weddings are meant to be celebrations, the joining of two people and two families. No-one can doubt that this is actually what happens, so why is there all this drama? Why do we make it so complicated?
Perhaps elopement does make sense. You have the wedding you choose without external influences and then celebrate your union with your family and friends after. Do you think your family could forgive you for eloping? Have they forgiven you?
When I was 18, Bean managed to convince me that cantatloupe were baby antelopes. Antelope pods, if you will. 18!!!! Admittedly I’m not that bright when I have flu but that makes me sound like a complete idiot! Image*
Also don’t forget to enter our prize draw reader survey to win a love shoot with the fabulous (and I mean fabulous), Babb Photo. If you happen to want to elope, we could have found your wedding photographer! Sneak me your idea in the comments of your survey. Oh wouldn’t that be amazing!!!
*Both images found on Pinterest. I reverse imaged searched them to no avail. If you know the owner please let me know.
**Ahh those infamous words from Prince Charles, there is a post with those words on right around the corner!
Sometimes I wish we’d eloped. Sometimes I wish we’d have had the big traditional wedding in the Portland, Oregon area (about half way between our families). Instead we chose to have a destination wedding (in the place we probably would have eloped to) and are having about 30 people there (we invited EVERYONE though, those are just the people who will be coming). Most days I think that’s a “best of both worlds” decision but I have days where I mourn just going, just he and I, and days when I wish everyone I love could be there.
Yes to the “best of both worlds” thought.
Oh the hoopla. I do wonder why weddings are always so fraught.