Let me introduce Esme. In my old blog email inbox I have a label. A red label for “clever thinking ladies.” Not many people get that little red tag. Esme is certainly one of those ladies who does. We need more clever thinking ladies in our lives. Not the ones who judge or look down on us, the ladies who just say it like it is. That’s who I strive to be, I may not know all the answers but I want to know the other people who do. Happy Independence Day one and all. Whilst I cannot condone those naughty little traitors perhaps we should take a moment to embrace their trail blazing ways?
And so I treat you to Esme,
“My first wedding
‘Oh wow, you just cried through the whole thing, didn’t you?’
‘Erm, well, not the whole thing. But you see, this is the first wedding we’ve been to since we got married. So…’
‘Oh right! Well then. But you really did cry from beginning to end! I could see you! I kept looking over at you and thinking, well as long as they’re still crying it must be going well! And I love your hat!’
This is pretty much the verbatim conversation I found myself having with the minister at the reception of a good friend’s wedding in May this year. (At this point I feel I should let you know that it was an American wedding, in America where we were the only British people in attendance. So, of course, I wore a hat. And everyone loved it. And tried it on. Including Tom and the brother of the bride.) We were dubbed ‘the Brits who cried’ because, apparently, we were the only people crying at what was, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the most memorable experiences of my life. I mean, the ceremony was in a secluded lawn, surrounded by trees, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, the bride looked breathtakingly beautiful, there were all these little personal touches (such as two carabinas linked in a heart because they’re rock climbers – aww!) and the flowers were perfect. Oh yes, and it was in Yosemite National Park, so the scenery wasn’t bad either.
But, of course, it was so much more than that. It had the magic. You know, that feeling that is a moment held in time, the moment where two people look into each others’ eyes and say that they will be there for the other forever more. When they acknowledge that no, it hasn’t always been perfect and there will be those points when they can’t even stand to be in the same town, but they are still going to love the other person more than they ever thought possible. I felt it, my husband felt it and we were transported to the moment only a few months previously when the friends that we were watching making this commitment to each other were watching us do the same.
So yes, we cried. Because we knew how Allyson and Victor were feeling. And we knew how fantastic it had felt, and how amazing marriage has been so far. And we will probably bawl of eyes out again at every other wedding we go to from now on, holding hands and smiling, feeling genuine happiness for the couple standing there pledging their lives and hearts to one another. And then we danced with the cheesy DJ and did shots of tequila with the bride and Maid of Honour, like the good wedding guests that we are.”
How sweet are those words? Esme speaks a wonderful truth. Yes to the genuine happiness. Love really is beautiful. Weddings are more than what you can see. They are what you feel. I think that’s what this wedding blog want to show you, weddings are more than what you can touch.
Even our name, far from the wedding crowd screams that we want to show you that there are beautiful things out there but there is so much more. The balance is delicate and oft swayed by popular culture but there is more. I want us to revel in that.
I love this, since I got engaged I’ve felt like the anti-bride because I don’t want all the fuss the fan fair & the princess theme to boot & this blog & especially posts like this make me feel normal for wanting to get married out of nothing more than love for my husband to be & wanting to share that moment with my friends & family. Just beautiful Esme – honest, heartfelt & to the point x
What Esme wrote here brought tears. We were so happy that Tom and Esme made it to our wedding and that we could also share their wedding day with them. Only a week after we were married, we attended our first wedding as Mr. and Mrs. and I had many of the same thoughts. Two overwhelming ones: Every wedding from now on will be so enjoyable because a) we will appreciate all the behind-the-scene details and work after having lived through our own and b) the ceremony will not only represent the bond of two close friends or family members, but will also reinforce our own commitment to one another. Thank you for putting these thoughts so poignantly, Esme!
Thank you Allyson. Such lovely words. Your wedding sounded beautiful. Congratulations.
Such a beautiful post, I cried reading this. This is what a wedding should be to me, it isn’t about the chair covers and the perfectly matching colours. It is about two people and love and the promises they are making to each other.
I can only hope my wedding has the same magic you describe, and I look forward to the moment and the feelings.
I cannot write as beautifully as you, but thank you so much for sharing this. I look forward to other posts along these lines!
Yes to the magic.
[...] Esme (she’s just started her own blog don’t you know!) is back, did you read her last post? She’s one of “my” clever thinking ladies. Hopefully the group I shall be able to [...]
[...] wedding of my very good friend, Allyson, to Victor in Yosemite National Park. (You can read about how we cried throughout the whole ceremony on Far from the wedding crowd and my review of Yosemite on the Honeymoon Project, if you’re [...]