A small word which means so very much.
It bestows obligation.
And obligation is such a self flagellating word for some. Others, one might say the lucky ones, are immune.
There were definitely some shoulds I relented to due to social convention.
You stand alone against two families with competing ideas, social convention, pinterest (although ours is fine, ahem hint) and, for lack of a better word, competitiveness.
No, your wedding isn’t a competition but does anyone else find that all this attention from blogs, magazines, TV shows and fairs just seems to relentlessly raise the bar of what is normal? Can we not just be happy with what makes us happy? I should have a huge dress , I should have doves, I should get married in church, I should have ridiculously creative favours and I should pay for everything. Or perhaps the other pressure, I should have a slinky dress, I should not have doves for it be cruel, I should get married in a field, I should not have favours and I should dial down the bar bill. Neither is right, neither is wrong. You need to work out what is right for you.
I think back to my wedding and if I’m incredibly honest there are things I would change. Yet I still recall the shoulds. I’m not saying anyone forced me into any particular decision. It was far more a self induced situation. Perhaps I will speak about my shoulds next time. Some are still rather tender.
Beware of “perhaps you might like” too. The powerful passive aggressive phrase that shakes me to the very core. Although the fact that someone thinks I would like something makes me want to do the exact opposite.
I wanted to just highlight the fact we are burdened this week, next week I want to show you ways of fighting the shoulds. If you have any surefire ways of helping I would love to know too!
I couldn’t really find an appropriate image to go with this post but perhaps we can use it to defy the shoulds in our lives? Without the punching please. Confetti is a sure fire winner though.