Obviously I’m not talking about your future husband or wife. I’m talking about “the dress.”
The mythology that surround “the dress” is all encompassing. It must be white, pouffy and make you feel like a princess. Oh please, I think we are all grown up enough now to know that a disney character with her perfect cupid’s bow and incredible hair is for the most part unobtainable. Also why would you want to be a princess when you could be the queen. I’ve never understood the obsession with princesses? But I digress.
A lovely friend is just going through the process and wonders whether there is that single moment of clarity. That moment when you feel like “a bride.” Should that moment overwhelm me? Should I be wearing waterproof mascara? (Hmm notice the shoulds) When will I feel that feeling I’ve seen and heard about so many times before.
I didn’t have that moment until I tried on my mother-in-law’s veil whilst wearing jeans and messy hair. I didn’t cry but I did feel, “squee I’m a bride.” In some ways I wish I’d worn her veil on the day because of the feeling it gave me standing in front of a mirror on the most ordinary of days.
I don’t have pictures of me trying on dresses. Obviously I felt (and still do) that I was too hideous to go to normal bridal shops. I thought I would be laughed out of the stores. Indeed at one not so very nice place in Islington I was. (I wasn’t actually looking for dresses at that time I was just browsing for the blog whilst waiting to go to an appointment but gosh that was painful). Also because I was fussy I wanted to create a dress that was a little different from the usual and I didn’t see it out there. I think you are less likely to have that moment if you are seeing your dress being created slowly. Indeed it wasn’t my perfect dress but it was a dress that was within my fiscal limits. Close to what I really wanted but not quite!
I didn’t have that moment on my wedding day either. Now I look at a lot of weddings and time after time I see that one shot where the bridesmaids take a sharp inhale of breath, the mother beams and the father cries with happiness. That’s perhaps what hurts the most when other people cannot even fake a little excitement about you. But that’s personal to me.
I think what I want to say is that if you don’t have that moment you aren’t a freak. If you are a pragmatic person and don’t really care for spending £5000 on a dress for one day but actually quite like the dresses you can’t afford then it will always be difficult to find that moment.
However, I’m sure that it is not out of your reach. You can either keep looking and if you start early enough you shouldn’t have too many problems or find something that is flattering and wonderful and take your time to fall in love.
There is no right or wrong way.
So were you a bride that cried or were you the kind that didn’t?
Would love to hear from you so I can write about this again with a more rounded approach. So go, tell me, did you cry?
A cold anna – although I do think my favourite picture of me at my wedding is the one on the right.
Emma Case Photography